Between 18 and 22 years old - The fall

Suddenly, my life, which was restricted to pouring out my feelings with music and words, changed... I remember the times I sat on the couch and let music enter my heart and pour out my feelings... this was very constant. ..

At this time, I was an assiduous lover of words and paper. It helped me to reflect on life and what I was...

It was then that I got a new space... the university... before that, however, destiny had other plans... On a beautiful summer night, I found a soul, known and at the same time unknown, to which I opened my heart. It was a unique moment of fear and excitement, for until that moment, I had felt that I was just the "friend", the priest taking the sin and absolving it. On that day when the moon was high, I expressed my feelings to that soul... I saw her eyes feeling what mine meant... she was a beautiful person, with unique beauty and who, to my astonishment, was there looking at me, feeling my words, considering being with me, sharing her life... So, I made the request... at the moment, she asked me to think and said that she would reveal the answer to me in a week.... she leaves radiant, but with a fearful heart yet another rejection. Would it then be the end of my loneliness??

A week later, I called her, we made an appointment and she said yes... my heart was filled with joy and overflowed with light... at last, I could reach heaven in her love and overflow my feelings in her mouth. A beautiful kiss... a storm of feelings that made my body tremble. That was a unique moment.

This union lasted almost 03 years... as was my habit, I took my life with hers, in love, I filled all the space she gave me and conquered those who were dear to me. I walked life and lived these days with great passion... during this time, I started academic life, interrupted it, went to the army, left lieutenant, started the path of knowledge still immature and unaware of what life was.. I thought my parents had to support me and that it was their obligation.

The end... suddenly, I had done so many things, felt her body on mine, caressed her body, made countless plans, but like me, she was also immature, jealous and even a little selfish... everything had to be her way, and for me, as long as I could feel her warmth and love (or so I thought), it was okay. She went through a lot of problems, lost loved ones, which I also liked... she was devastated and, in an attempt to support her, I gave her a bit of art, theater and love...

One Saturday night, after being away from me for a week, which I found strange, she made an appointment. Words came out of her mouth that dealt deadly blows to mine, it was over and I, in disbelief, was trying to absorb the blows. After that, several times, I looked for her, trying to understand where I had gone wrong and why this happened ... as I had no way to explain myself, I was extremely devastated and lost, until one day her Father came to me. He said that feelings sometimes could not be understood and that he was very sorry, but that he was there to ask me for my defeat and accept it. At that moment, I told him that I would comply with her request, but that she was the one who should be there, leaving me the dignity of at least knowing why.

My soul was torn apart for six months... then, in January of the next year, little did I know that my life was about to change.