44 years and 45 years - The star rises to the sky and the Phoenix is reborn... Part I

One of the hardest decisions of my life was sending my father to a specialized health facility. The day I left him there, it felt like a part of me had been left behind. I felt like I was abandoning one of the people I loved most in my life. I cried for three days... I wondered all the time if I was doing the right thing, because if it went wrong, he could die.

I went to the clinic almost every day, as it was close to my work. I controlled all the medicines day by day, called almost always... in short, I tried to compensate for his going to a place without a family. At first, it was difficult, but, over time, he gained weight, made new friends and adapted... he was very strong... of course, I got scared a few times with him, especially on a Saturday, when he had a seizure in front of me... I almost died... I thought I had lost him as well as my mother... luckily it was a scare...

At the same time, my little star was getting sicker and sicker... pneumonia, dengue fever... getting weaker and weaker... my little star was getting less and less bright. Several sleepless nights, sometimes I stayed at the door of her room, watching my dear wife and her sleeping... I prayed to God for her to get better.. How I loved that little star... Despite everything, I had to work, pay bills, pay for medicine, in short, survive...

So, with the starlet's health situation taking a turn for the worse, she was admitted to a children's hospital. Throughout the process, we found out that the condition of her spine was critical, given the loss of resistance caused by the diseases... and it got even worse... And one Saturday, not understanding what was happening to my daughter, I went to the ICU door and told her not to leave until she knew what was going on... it was then that I found out that she was going down a path that had been laid out for some time, but that we didn't know... her back problem was deadly if the surgeries failed to achieve a certain pattern of decompression of the spinal cord through her spine.

My wife had been in the hospital for more than 30 days, exhausted, but a warrior... she wouldn't leave the little star for a minute... we were close to the middle of the year... on a Thursday, I left work and went to the hospital after 10:00 pm... I stayed until almost one o'clock in the morning... my wife was sleeping, at the end of her strength... my little star breathing with great difficulty... on the way, when I was close to home, a voice told me... Your daughter will go away... I felt that feeling of sadness and dread... I went back to the hospital... I stayed there until two in the morning... I kept watching the little star breathing and the equipment. .. the situation was very dramatic.

I got up early to leave for work and my wife was there at home to take a shower... I thought it was strange, but she told me that my mother-in-law had stayed with the little star. I went to work... I had a meeting at a technical training center, in which a colleague and I were going to present a postgraduate proposal. We were talking to the director of the center, when one of the employees told me that my phone wouldn't stop ringing... I excused myself and went into the hallway to see what the matter was... it was my dear wife calling... 29 calls. My soul froze... I thought of the voice of dawn... but I controlled myself... I grabbed a glass of water, started drinking... then I called...

It was then that an unknown voice answered... told me she was a psychologist at the hospital... asked me to go there... so I asked My little star is gone, isn't it? She said... yes, unfortunately her little star is gone. At that moment, my life collapsed... my floor opened... the glass of water fell to the floor... I screamed... Noooo!! And I started to cry... I don't know how, but several people came to my aid and asked what had happened... I just said that my daughter was gone... I will never forget this moment... the most terrible of all my life... That angel of light, my dear little star, had turned off her light... at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about everything we went through and what we worked for... the hours I didn't spend with her and my wife to work and give them comfort... I couldn't help thinking what it was all worth... I thought we would be rewarded with a miracle... my daughter with us for our lives... how selfish we were... this was not her way...

Life is a flowing river of souls... one soul rises, another descends, flowing the comings and goings of life... one day there, another here... difficult to describe the rise of the little star... it seemed that the river did not flow anymore... it had stopped and lost its strength... everything went dark...