Between 39 and 42 years old - The Second Lesson - Part II

Another new challenge... I couldn't believe this was happening again... my daughter again in a life and death operation... the spinal cord was being compressed again... I was heartbroken, apprehensive and afraid. .. the feeling of losing my daughter was unbearable .. I, with so many sacrifices, having to work and not live with the little star as much as I wanted to be able to give her the conditions to go further ... it was difficult for me and still what it is until today... I know rationally that I didn't have a choice... but I've always been a son, father, family human being... I can't describe the feeling when I had to hear that we're back to square one... after so much effort... I had that feeling of wanting to disappear... disappear... Well, but she needed me strong, my wife needed me too... So, I got back on my feet again... I had to be strong for my family... No one knew or knows, but at that time, looking back on today, I don't even know how I managed it...

So we went to the same hospital, in the same waiting room... this time, there were 10 hours of waiting... in that time, I tried to think positive, I tried to remember the vision of my little star's face smiling, I tried to distract my mind and my heart...my dear wife was tense, crying and praying all the time...as I write these words now, I feel like I was looking for a way to survive that. I didn't know how much I would still be tested throughout my life... but that test was one of the biggest of my life... you think I never thought why my daughter was like that... Several times I thought what had I done for her to go through all this...

I raised children from other fathers and mothers, I saw their love and the happiness of the parents... I knew I would never have that.. My daughter would not have that.. it was my dream for her... to be independent and I can end my life peacefully knowing that she would be fine...

Then 10 hours later my wife's phone rings... it was the doctor saying the operation was over and he was happy as he had done everything he could possibly do. At the time, I thought I was being awarded for the second time.. that the Father had heard my prayers.. I would have the little star back again... again, we were waiting to go see it... this time it would be in ICU. We got there an hour after the operation was over... I remember getting there and looking at my little star...how beautiful she was... Then she looked at me and said "Daddy, Ice Cream!! ". That sentence took me by surprise and I started laughing... I told my wife that she was fine... I don't even need to talk about my happiness and that of my wife...

This time, within a week, the little star went home. She had a faster recovery. She couldn't do any activities until the end of the year..only evaluation and recovery from surgery..that's when I made a decision. She would never go back to that school... I don't blame the school, but I do blame our poor choice... This time I spoke to my wife, I would do it my way if and when she could get back to her activities. So, time passed and she was released to return to her activities at the beginning of another year.. I had to buy a wheelchair.. I even had to change the car.. My daughter was now in a wheelchair...

We spent Christmas very happy, because my whole family was there, father-in-law, mother-in-law, my father, my mother, me, little star, my wife, my nephews, my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, in short, everyone. I was reminded again of the importance of family and the strength it gave me and still does today.

When choosing a new school, I did what I wanted to do from the beginning, I looked for a public school, which, I knew, was better prepared to receive my little star... I had the support of a specialized companion and the interaction with students was better. I got a place, talked to the Principal and donated a wheelchair to the school, as the ones they had were not suitable for my little star...

With a few months, my intuition had been proven and my little star loved going to school.. all the students in her class liked her. She was happy and I had lifted a weight off my shoulders as she had done the right thing...

As expected, my life had turned upside down, but I had to work, because life doesn't stop for anyone. At this stage, I was lucky and blessed to have very good and human people around me. .. thank you very much to my friends, my work colleagues, my family, finally to everyone who gave me strength to continue...

Life is like a river that flows from one end to the other, now calm, now nervous, which shows you with its lessons, to reflect on your journey, but which forces everyone to choose paths that can lead to calm waters. or agitated, depending on the rowing and the lessons learned.. We are all walkers in this river of souls...