Between 42 and 43 years old - The Third Lesson - Part III

After the death of my beloved mother, my father moved in with me. At first, my older brother stayed for a few months to help with the transition, given the legal and emotional issues ahead. To my surprise, in the first few days, it seemed that my mother had traveled the world exploring its beauties and that she would return at any moment... my father still hadn't seen the sad reality.

My mother's absence had left a desert where before it was an oasis... their love was very beautiful to see... 54 years together... happy, fighting, dreaming, fighting, leaving examples, showing the that they were in essence... good people, dear and loved by many... they made a difference to those who knew them... impressive, but we only realize that after the space is empty. After my mother's death, I could see what she meant to the whole family... she was a turning point for the sisters, the soul that soothed and illuminated the darkness.

To my father, she was his life... and to my mother, he was her life. They were human beings, they laughed, cursed, fought, but they were always together. The day she left, my heart was troubled, as I didn't know how my father would survive without her.

A month and a half went by, reality began to set in, there, hard and undeniable, my mother was gone... the signs began... twice to the hospital with heart arrhythmia, depression came. Symptoms of paranoia begin to appear with my older brother. I took my dear father, warrior and companion of my whole life, to my house.. I still hadn't managed to solve the problem of a new house to accommodate everyone... my little star in his wheelchair and my father broken. .. He stayed in an adapted room sleeping on a sofa bed.

When the complications with my father began, we sought help from a psychiatrist to ease the pain in his heart and the consequences of it. Also, I kept looking for a new nest for the family, it had to be bigger and more comfortable for the little star and my dear father. In so much searching, we had given up trying to find anything, since it was difficult to please my father and my dear wife. At the last minute, without much pretense, we went to look at one last apartment, and, oddly enough, it was chosen. I spoke to my father that this apartment was very expensive and that I wouldn't be able to afford it... he said: My son, don't worry, I'm going to live with you and the little star needs a better place.. the place It's this one!!

We bought a beautiful apartment, big and spacious, in which I could set up a nice room for my father and the little star... we could set up the apartment to meet everyone's needs. We gave away our apartment, what I received from my mother's inheritance, the savings I had and my father contributed a good part... I still owed a loan... Well, actually, it was the best thing we did. When we moved there, there were still a few closets missing, but we accommodated them all very well. I was extremely happy because I was able to accommodate everyone I loved and still love in order to see everyone's happiness.

How I thank my father for that.. I had the privilege of taking care of the little star and him! I am grateful for that, very grateful! I have no words to express how wonderful it was for me to be able to take care of both of them, despite all the bumps and snags along the way. At the same time, the little star got sick almost at the end of the year, pneumonia, a common fact for her condition... 15 days in the hospital. In addition, my father was increasingly depressed and losing weight... I did everything for him to eat right.

The new year came and things got a little more difficult. Dad didn't want to eat at all. There were days when I had to immobilize him and my dear wife pinched his nose so he would open his mouth to eat... I was increasingly sad and worried. The responsibility for his health and his life was mine... I had no one to share this responsibility... I began to question whether I was able to take care of him...

Then came more problems... the little star got sick again... my father was very weak, he was having bowel movements at night in bed... I got up at least twice a night to bathe him... I was very sad and not knowing what to do... I spent a week without sleep, taking care of him and the little star... I had 03 jobs... I was exhausted... That's when my beloved wife told me that if we continued like that, both of them would die... I had to do something. What a desperate situation... I had chills and my soul was on fire. I had to decide... I would have to resort to outside help... it couldn't be the little star, as her condition was very delicate and her treatment was very specific.

It was then that I made one of the hardest decisions of my life.