The light of conscience and wisdom in love

How many times do we judge people for their acts and omissions? Today, I woke up reflecting the attitudes and actions of my dear companion, seeking to understand what led to the outcome of her life. Over the 30 years we had together, I always tried to understand the path she followed, but I was not always assertive in my actions.

Obviously, understanding is the key to understanding and illuminating a person's soul and feelings. Even to be willing to help someone, we have to be assertive in the actions and words we direct to people, which, unfortunately, is not always trivial. In fact, most of the time, this task is difficult and even painful.

We are formed by concepts, ethics and "truths", which are shaped throughout our growth and rooted within us. Along the way, from time to time, the reality of life forces us to rethink these "truths" as a function of learning and revealing our vision.

Today, when analyzing the 30 years I lived with my partner, I observe that I made many mistakes and successes. The relationship shared throughout life, on a daily basis, is a constant learning process, with love being the door that leads to longevity. The feeling of belonging, of wanting to be together, even with all the difficulties imposed by life, is shaped by goodwill and the almost infinite desire for the presence of the other as a quality of life factor. How difficult this is to find these days.

The challenges faced throughout our lives were immense, always culminating in several losses, some irreplaceable. I fought alongside my companion, always seeking to give her the love she deserved and the "wisdom" of my soul, which could not always reach her understanding. Sometimes I despaired at seeing the erosion of your path and your lack of understanding of this reality.

The distorted vision of freedom and peace based on death, due to unbearable loss, was constant, but hidden from me. I always sought to be the best of myself, showing that life had many faces and that living for other reasons, such as love and charity, was worth it. However, I was not always efficient in the message and the receiver was alert in understanding it.

I lived the whole way loving and trying to help, in whatever way possible, to illuminate his path with the light of this love and dedication, without however being fully heard, as there was a certain deafness on the part of those who received the message and, certainly, ineptitude who issued it.

There were many words, advice and feelings shared and many "silences" received. There were several approaches, victories and failures, but always cultivating love, patience, admiration and affection. I also failed to receive the messages sent by her and, on several occasions, I felt inept and unhappy.

Only towards the end did my messages begin to be fully heard, given the realization that my love was true and companionable, in the wake of a fatal illness. As incredulous as it may be, she did not believe that she could be loved and cared for fully, as she considered herself a lesser person. However, I speak with conviction that she was a greater person, capital in her heart and in her kindness, because I knew her better than anyone. Its value was immense, but it was hidden in the darkness of pain.

Today, when reflecting on the importance of conscience and wisdom, I see that the path taken forged our love, made us better human beings and made us an inseparable amalgam. Yes, we have had a difficult path full of challenges, some well overcome, others not so much. What remained at the end was the certainty of my love, the gratitude of our journey together and the regret of your absence.

At the end of this reflection, I ask forgiveness for my mistakes and thank you for your love, because from it came my greatest joys and strengths. We were not perfect with each other, but we will always love each other in time, space and eternity.

Your wisdom, understanding and light will always be in my heart.